SIR – Our family has looked after mum from 1990 until she died in 1999 (89), my sister-in-law Brenda from 1996 till 2011 when she died (76) and now by brother Ralph, Brenda’s husband, since 2009 till now (80). They all suffered with dementia and lived at home.

In our experience, all lost their short term memory, were confused, but worst of all were frightened of the next five minutes – the unknown – having forgotten the basic skills, to eat, to wash or to know where the door in the room led to. We, recognisable family members, led them round at home, scaffolding their next challenge.

Our problem was not the diagnosis but the treatment. In our case – nothing. Ralph, my 80-year-old brother, has four carers giving him meals throughout the day and three days he goes to a club for the elderly run superbly at Woodlands by caring, knowledgeable and supportive staff. My sister, the chief carer, links these agencies and Ralph’s needs.

The doctors do not get involved. When we asked for a monthly/six weeks’ ‘check-up’/monitoring of the condition we were told it was not possible – “it’s the nature of the condition”.

Please can we value the people who care for the sick – those who do the difficult job every day.

M Gardner, Rufford Avenue, Leeds