When teenage boys began wearing those trousers with the crotch around the knees, I thought I’d seen it all.
I found it fascinating that something so unflattering, not to mention uncomfortable, could persuade people to part with their hard-earned cash. And they’re not cheap.
But the ‘nappy’ trousers, as I call them, paled into insignificance when I spotted the latest men's’ footwear to hit the high street. Setting eyes on them while shopping with my youngest daughter in a trendy shoe shop, I was tempted to make a John McEnroe style “You cannot be serious” outburst.
I kid you not, these ‘shoes’ are just like my grandad’s slippers, and they appeared to be flying off the shelves at almost £50 a pair.
My daughter was mortified as I joked with the sales assistant that the last time I’d seen so many shoes of that type I was visiting a care home.
“You can buy these at a tenth the price all over town,” I told her. To prove a point, as we walked home, I took her into Boyes where lookalike footwear was on sale at less than a fiver.
“They’re not the same, mum!” she yelled. No, they have different brand names and price tags, I told her. I’m surprised they’re not selling pipes to go with them.
I’m constantly lecturing my children on wasting cash on overpriced ‘trendy’ fashion items that can be bought for a fraction of the price elsewhere.
My youngest daughter saved up for months to buy a sweatshirt with ‘Jack Wills’ on the front – “Do you even know who he is?” I asked her, while alerting her to the fact that other, cheaper tops, were equally functional. And I’ve previously mentioned the overpriced, glorified plimsolls bearing a sought-after label, that she’s asked for for Christmas.
But thankfully – apart from wedged shoes with chucks sawn off the back that cause the wearer to walk like a 90-year-old crone – there doesn’t seem to be anything on the market for girls that’s quite as ridiculous as the slipper shoes and low-crotch trousers.
I’m keeping my eyes peeled for a combination of the two, which should produce a look similar to that of an extra in The King And I.
I realise that the scope for designing new and exciting fashion is more limiting for men than for women, but even so.
I eagerly await the arrival of flat caps with-a-twist and multi-coloured string vests.
Stick them in a shop emblazoned with American college posters and old wooden tennis racquets and I can guarantee they’ll fly out of the door.
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