"What do celebrities carry in their handbags?"

Magazines and newspapers are obsessed with the question. What items do they see as vital for everyday life, and the odd emergency, should it arise?

Their answers always intrigue me. Things like "Super matt-finish, touch-up, non-velour foundation creme," "semi-permanent sheen long-lasting lustre lipstick" and "Camomile-scented, velveteen-coated wet wipes," adorn the "can't survive without" list.

As the official Protect and Survive brochure no doubt confirms, all these items are vital in the event of a nuclear war. And equally useful if a less-serious occurrence takes you by surprise - like breaking down on the M62, or getting locked out of your house.

No-one ever mentions really practical things like a pocket-sized torch (if your car breaks down in the dark), a pen and notepad, a tub of Vaseline (great for chapped lips and for lubricating car parts!), or even the most vital accessory for women under the age of 50 - sanitary protection.

Over the years, I have come to the conclusion that this is because many women carry handbags so small that make-up is the only product they could remotely hope to fit into them.

Some so-called handbags are no bigger than an envelope - they are barely large enough to contain a set of house keys, let alone your purse.

And many women carry minute bags which appear as flat as a pancake - in which you'd be hard-pressed to carry anything other than a well-pressed handkerchief.

Yet a handbag is frequently referred to as a woman's "life support system". Now mine really is one of these. The size of a washing-up bowl and the weight of a sack of potatoes, my "handbag" contains everything I think I am likely to need in the event of an emergency - and a lot more besides.

Its messy interior is awash with all the normal handbag regalia - purse, cheque book, make-up bag etc... But it also contains a pair of woolly tights, a ball of string, some vehicle key-hold de-icer (carried all year round), a packet of Cup-a-Soup, some throat tablets, a couple of shells picked up on Whitby beach, a book on climbing plants - there's even a small camera (to photograph the scene if I ever have a car accident - now if that's not preparing for every eventuality, what is).

There's so much in there, and yet I find I need an additional bag - a carrier - for work. The sad thing is, I don't ever use 80 per cent of the things I lug around - but whenever I attempt a clear-out I find I need to hang on to them for peace of mind.

I often feel quite disturbed by the fact that I am unable to live my life out of a conventional handbag. So I was comforted by the results of a recent survey which revealed that enormous handbags are not unusual, with many weighing in at a mighty six kilograms (three supermarket bags of spuds).

With this knowledge behind me, maybe it won't look too unusual when I discard my burgeoning bags for good - and trade them in for what I really need to accommodate my bare essentials - a shopping trolley.

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.