"Does my bum look big in this?" The age-old question uttered by women every time they try on new clothes has become a bit of a catchphrase, what with the book of that name and the sketch on BBC2's Fast Show.

It's not the first time humour has resulted from our overwhelming desire to look good in other people's eyes.

Most of us fear being mocked - I suspect even the super-confident worry about their hind-quarters when squeezing into a new pair of 501s.

And it is for this reason that women drag their blokes along to Miss Selfridge, to get an approving nod (whether they really mean it or not we never know as they're usually bored to tears and desperate to get out) when they emerge from the fitting room in a lycra body stocking two sizes too small.

We fear ridicule and crave reassurance - not only from those closest to us, but from anyone. How many times have you asked a complete stranger whether an item of clothing looks okay? I'll grab anyone who happens to be passing - male or female (for some reason, men always turn a violent shade of crimson when I ask: "Is this all right, or do you think a 36B?").

So the idea of a confessional-style booth, in which you can put across your creative ideas to an anonymous expert in the field, who will give you an honest appraisal is, to me, a stroke of genius.

It's just a shame the "confessional" - set up by the libraries' service in Bradford and Keighley to help people overcome their fear of ridicule - is confined to poetry.

I'm not saying that poetry doesn't matter - it kept William Wordsworth off the dole queue - it's just that to most of us, it doesn't.

What I, and I suspect others, want are confessionals which help us through everyday life. I want to step inside that cosy wood-panelled booth, not for help with rhyming couplets, but advice on such things as:

Fashion:

"I love those sarongs but think I look like a fat woman in a table cloth. What do you think?" (passes photo under grille).

Beauty:

"If I have my hair done to look like Rachel off Friends, do you think I'll get asked out by gorgeous rich blokes like Brad Pitt?"

Love life:

"My husband hasn't run off with another woman. How do I persuade him to do this?"

Domestic chores:

"I've always sworn by Bold Automatic, but I've been watching those Doorstep Challenge adverts with the lovely Danny Baker and am thinking of switching to Daz. Am I a fool?"

Children:

"I can't stand child-friendly pubs - should I feel guilty when I take my kids to create mayhem at "normal" restaurants where everyone stares disapprovingly before leaving to eat elsewhere?"

These are the important things in life, and they should be given air space, not poetry. Let's get our priorities right and leave the poets to wander lonely as...oh, who cares?

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.