Where there's life, there's hope, they say. In my case it is where there's life, there's soap. But sometimes the soap bubble bursts...

I feel I must do something exciting now. There is definitely something in the air. I feel I must make hay while the sun shines, strike while the iron is hot and seize the day.

There are signs of optimism out there. At least now the days are getting slightly longer. Like the snowdrops lifting their shy heads out of the cold ground, I too feel as if I must do something bold.

I have already become quite ambitious. Not only have I taken the unprecedented step in coming here to the North East to study furiously while Toddler is looked after by his youthful grandma, but I am already doing stuff that I would never have dreamed of.

For instance, sharing a house with cats. I have never been a feline fanatic to be honest. I am of the opinion that cats are to blame for everything. When two out of five cat and dog relationships fail, it is always the fault of the cats. They are so sneaky and catty and yes, very aggressive.

Whenever I prepare my meals after a hard day at work/college/drinking coffee with youngsters I have to wrestle with them to ensure they don't guzzle my tuna bake when I am answering the telephone.

Often when I go up to my bedroom I find that they have been entertaining themselves there without my knowledge.

They probably put on my make-up and perfume and make fun of my accent. And when I do try to watch any television they hog the sofa and fall asleep snoring as uncouthly as drunken men.

It is partly because of these creatures that I have started to consider increasing my social activities. As my friends say, I really should get out more. Admittedly, it has been a long time since I went out in the evenings. Normally I am asleep in Bradford by early evening and sometimes even have to record Friends so that I don't have to stay up too late.

But finally I confessed I had had enough of being a couch potato, so I decided to go along for a meal with some friends, but first there was a problem of what to wear. I needed to dress in something warm and comfortable and not too revealing, but my housemate thought stepping out into the street in a continental quilt was a bit much.

In the end I opted for jeans and a jumper. This instantly meant that as soon as I walked into the eatery I felt hot and flustered, especially when I saw what everyone else was wearing. Or not, as the case may be. I felt very old when I saw mere slips of girls in, er, mere slips. Don't they feel cold, I thought?

I don't know what people in Bradford wear as I am never awake to find out. However, I thought, this socialising lark isn't what it is cracked up to be and I slunk desperately back home.

It isn't all bad news though. After all, where there is life there is soap. And now even the cats look at me pityingly and let me sit on the sofa.

Converted for the new archive on 30 June 2000. Some images and formatting may have been lost in the conversion.