Q: Dear Kate, I went on holiday with a group of lads last month and can’t stop thinking about something I think happened between two of my mates, one of whom is married. They seemed to spend an unusual amount of time together, sleeping in the same room when they didn’t need to. I couldn’t help but notice them together and now I’m convinced they are having an affair. What would you do about it?

A: This shouldn’t be any concern of yours. These guys are your mates – good enough friends to go on holiday with. So why should your suspicions (and that’s all they are!) change your outlook? I could understand your dilemma if you are friends with your mate’s wife, and how awful for her if you are right. But people do have affairs; it’s a fact of life. The bottom line is that these friends are grown-ups more than capable of making decisions about how they live their lives. Their lives, their decisions; nothing to do with you. People ultimately end up hurt with any affair – there’s nothing more certain. I suggest you concentrate on your own life and let your friends get on with theirs. I’m sure they’ll let you know if either of them needs you.

Q: Dear Kate, I’m about to turn 40 and am starting to regret that I haven’t had any children yet. I’ve always been career-driven and that has always suited me and my partner well up to now. We have a great lifestyle, and have never felt envious of friends with children. However, I’m worried that time is running out and if I don’t make the decision to have a child now I may never be able to. Please help.

A: Sit down with your partner and talk about this very emotive subject – you need to establish where your partner stands. Is having a child something you think is expected of you? In my opinion that’s not a good enough reason to go ahead. You’re very lucky that you are in a stable relationship, with a good career that you enjoy and gives you a sense of purpose. I can understand why you wouldn’t want to disrupt things. However, I don’t think I’ve met anyone who has had a child and then regretted it. I’m just a little concerned that your reason is because you’re frightened you might change your mind in a few years time. My advice is to keep talking it over, and have confidence in the choices that you make. You don’t need to be frightened of becoming a parent; if it was no fun, then we wouldn’t do it.