Q Dear Kate, I bumped into a really good mate's ex-wife when I was out in town the other night. It was good to see her, and we swapped numbers and agreed to meet for coffee to catch up. She has texted me since then saying she'd rather we went out for a drink - she's sorted a babysitter and suggested a night. It would be nice, but I've got a feeling she wants this to go further and I don't know what to do for the best. Any clues? A I don't know about you, but I think there are some lines which should never be crossed. Maybe this is one of them. If you don't agree, then ask yourself why you've got in touch with me. As much as you may try and convince yourself that your intentions are innocent (and maybe they are), you've already picked up on the fact that this woman's intentions aren't. And now you want me to tell you what you should do? Well, I'm not going to. I think you know already what the right thing to do is - and you should be able to take responsibility for your own actions. There's no harm in meeting up with an old friend for a coffee, is there? Or even meeting for a drink and a good night out? I know you've had this conversation with yourself. Now imagine having it with your "really good mate". Has that given you the clue you were asking for? I do hope so.

Q Dear Kate, I hope you can give me some good advice because when I have tried to speak to my son about this, he's told me I'm being silly. I'm a 54-year-old man and have been divorced for eight years now. I've still got a good career which keeps me busy, but I do get lonely and would love to have some female company in my life again. In fact, not just company, but someone I could be intimate with and share things with. My son says I should count myself lucky I can just do my own thing without having to answer to anyone, but I don't feel lucky, just lonely. Please help me. A I get so many letters like yours; lots of people out there feel just like you do, so please don't think you're alone. You sound like a lovely man, and what you're hoping for is not out of your reach. There are so many ways to meet people these days, all you need to do is a little research and find a way that suits you. Meeting people via the singles ads' in your local paper works for some people, but not for others. If that's not your style, then why not try and find an evening class? If you choose something you have a genuine interest in then the chances are you'll meet someone who you have at least one thing in common with. The internet is also a great way to meet people. I know quite a few couples who have met this way. If you're out of practice with the whole social scene it's a great way to build up your confidence without committing yourself to a blind date' straight away. Dating sites help you to find people in your area with similar interests and outlooks. You can chat online and get to know someone, then it's up to you whether you decide to meet up with anyone. I would stress that you use a reputable site though, and expect to pay a joining fee. If you're unsure, why not ask a friend to help you explore what's out there? I really hope you find the courage to ignore your son and pursue your dreams of happiness. What

  • If you have a problem you would like Kate to help you with write to her care of Features Department, Telegraph & Argus, Hall Ings, Bradford, BD1 1JR or e-mail her at emma.clayton@telegraphandargus.co.uk Kate King is unable to respond to letters privately, but confidentiality and anonymity will be upheld within this column. Her opinion is based on experience. Any advice given within the Telegraph & Argus is requested at the risk of contributing readers - no responsibility is held by Kate King for outcomes of issues printed in her advice column.