Q: My brother seems to be drifting away from me and my family. He's always been there for me in the past, but now that's not the case. He doesn't make any effort to call me anymore and has recently decided to move out of the area. It's all started with a relationship he started a few months ago. Since then he's become less interested in our family and more wrapped up in his girlfriend. Should I tell him how much he's hurting me?

A: What is so wrong about what you have described to me? Perhaps you could be less focused on your brother and stop taking his changing lifestyle so personally. I have found that family life ebbs and flows over time. There are times when we need each other more than others. Your brother has found someone he feels should come first, and I think that may be what you are struggling with. Do you really think he intends to hurt you? I think that is something you are doing to yourself. If you allow these negative feelings to take hold, it's inevitable that you'll drive him away. You say he's no longer there for you - have you thought about whether you actually need him to be, or is it just something you have learned to take for granted? Have you asked him why he's moving? I doubt he's given your needs much thought in making decisions about his own life, and rightly so. He's a grown man carving out a life with his girlfriend in his own best interests. You should stop longing for how things were, and embrace how they are now.

Q: I can't believe another year has gone by. I have felt so stuck in a rut for as long as I can remember now. My life seems to revolve around everyone else's needs, my husband, our kids, my mum - and the list goes on. I often feel like walking away from it all, but I don't think I've got the courage. Please help me work out a way to put myself first so I can start enjoying my life, and my family, again.

A I'm sure there are many women out there who can relate to how you're feeling right now. The fact that you recognise the problem is the first step in making the changes you long for. Please don't go and do anything rash though. It's important that you spend some time working out exactly what it is you do want. You clearly want to enjoy' your family again, but there is something missing that is just about you - something to help you value yourself again. As long as you remain at the bottom of your list of priorities you'll be at the bottom of everyone else's as well. My advice would be to plan a break with just one or two close friends; it doesn't have to be more than a weekend, but long enough to give you some time and distance from your commitments at home. Tell your husband and family why you need to go away, and that when you return there may be some changes ahead. Make sure you relax and enjoy yourself, but make sure there is time for you to reflect and talk through your situation with your friends.