Bradford City and Bradford Bulls train nightmares recalled

In this job, it can be a pain not having a car, so even though public transport tends to successfully get me from A to B (and sometimes on to C and D), it would be nice to just have to rely on myself and my motor in future.

And as the clock ticks down to tomorrow’s 13-hour day on the move, as I cover Bulls’ trip to London Broncos down in Wimbledon, I can’t help but what pitfalls I will encounter on this occasion.

You see, in my five years at the T&A, there have been some memorable, some may say painful moments on the train, starting with that day Darren Gough got me merry around Christmas.

Lord’s Taverners Dinner – December 2018

Having gone out and covered some community cricket sessions for children within inner-city Bradford, an enriching experience, I was invited to a cricket dinner during my first year here.

But when a horn ripped through the Bradford to London Grand Central train, around about Brighouse, at 8:30am, I knew I was in for a long day.

We were told, remarkably, that unless the train stayed below 20mph for the whole journey, the horn would keep on sounding continuously.

So, forced to disembark at Wakefield Kirkgate, we were then told to hop on a shuttle bus to Wakefield Westgate, to catch any train taking us down to London Kings Cross.

Having sprinted through the station to make the LNER service about to leave, I settled down, opened a book, then a Tannoy announcement came through demanding anyone from the Grand Central service get off.

So after a long, long wait, I finally caught another train bound for the capital, then had to navigate the Tube solo for the first time, before arriving extremely late at this fancy dinner full of cricketing luminaries, having missed the first course of the meal (fishcake, if you were wondering).

But when the lovely PR man who’d invited me, not a cricket fan, breezily announced I’d be sitting next to a guy called Darren Gough, me, a cricket fan, was rather excited.

Darren Gough was my next door neighbour at this dinner, and was very generous with his servings. (Image: NQ Staff.)

Gough proceeded to chat my head off and ply me with white wine, leading to a slightly tipsy interview of mine with Derek Pringle, before I had a selfie with Mark Lawrenson, followed Matthew Hoggard out of the toilet and accidentally wished Chris Tarrant a Merry Christmas.

One of the odder days of my life, truth be told.

Accrington – July 2021

This was that brief period where we were all excited at the prospect of Derek Adams leading City to promotion after a hugely impressive pre-season.

That good feeling continued at Accrington on the final day of July, as Andy Cook and the Bantams impressed at a full-strength League 1 side on their way to a 2-0 win.

An eventful day on the pitch was nothing compared to the trip home, as several Bantams fans clearly made the most of their worthwhile trip.

As I entered Accrington train station, the platform was teeming with a mixture of drunken City fans and concerned looking police offers.

But heartwarmingly, there was no trouble, just a desire to stop any matchgoing supporter inadvertently tumbling on to the tracks!

The train was heaving and I had copy to write, so I was forced to sit down on the floor of the carriage, crammed into a tiny space, trying to bash out 500 words on the Richard O’Donnell v Sam Hornby debate.

Travelling in style on the way home from Accrington in 2021. (Image: NQ Staff.)

After all the merry chanting died down and people started to get off the train, I finally grabbed a seat, only to be interrogated by a woman demanding to know why I was wearing a facemask.

I gave a curt answer and attempted to ignore her, but then some teens next to us started winding the woman up, to her clear agitation.

The train guard was called, she was upset, the kids were admonished, and as I sat wearily typing while my signal cut in and out, I wondered how much easier it would have been to write everything up after a short car ride home.

Whitehaven – May 2022

Leaving the house before 8am and getting home after 1am is never a good sign, as I foolishly decided to assign myself to Bulls’ longest away trip of the year.

A ridiculous tight layover meant myself and about 30 other Bulls fans had to make the unfittest dash ever at Carnforth to make the connection, before said connection literally spluttered up to Whitehaven.

Running over an hour late, we even stopped at a station in the middle of nowhere, just for a toilet break, with one of the bleakest backdrops I can ever remember.

Nothing beats rushing your wee so you can dash back over the steps and make the train, so you’re not stuck at an isolated village station for all eternity.

Whitehaven has quite a pretty harbour it turns out, just took me forever to get there. (Image: NQ Staff.)

The train back was pretty hairy too, as I nearly threw all the contents of my bag on the floor after the game in an attempt to make the final train of the night at 6:19pm, catching it with two minutes to spare.

More delays meant I got back around half-past midnight, and forgetting it was Bank Holiday Sunday, it only took the 45 minutes for my Uber to arrive in Leeds and take me home.

York – August 2022

York shouldn’t have posed many problems, being an hour up the road from me, but it managed to.

Drama-free on the way down to this Monday night Bulls fixture, all my troubles came on the way back.

A great night for Myles Lawford and Mark Dunning in York last August, less so for me. (Image: Tom Pearson.)

With the Uber not playing ball and taking forever to arrive, I missed the last direct train home to Horsforth by about 90 seconds, forcing me on a far longer round trip through Leeds.

While contemplating this, I opened my backpack to find suncream I’d kept in there had literally leaked everywhere, showering my notes, my laptop and whatever else it could stick to.

As I worked on the train home with a slippy keyboard and a stained phone, I got back to mine just after 1am, where the half-hour clean-up operation on my destroyed bag began…

Sutton – November 2022

Now this is the big acid test for tomorrow, as I’m virtually taking the same route for the London Broncos clash as I did for Sutton v City last year.

This was not too bad until I actually reached the capital, and I even got to meet Leeds United legend Eddie Gray, but going underground in the capital while your friend is frantically trying to sort Peter Kay tickets for you is not ideal.

Eddie Gray and I on the Horsforth to Leeds train, before travel became decidedly less plain-sailing. (Image: NQ Staff.)

Having had to dash back upstairs at St Pancras to confirm that booking, I hopped on the next train, only for signal failure to stop it midway through the journey.

Stopping at a tiny outpost, I stumbled into a lovely, but unusual café, grabbed a mocha, which I’m pretty sure I spilled some of on the platform, and arrived at my destination.

I then nearly got on a train going the wrong way, but managed to avoid that mishap.

And after salty chips-gate and phone falling on the floor-gate during City’s 2-0 win, I swerved the next train to go and watch my Newcastle team beat Chelsea 1-0, where my celebrations drew the ire of a pub packed full of Londoners.

That meant a mad dash back to my Premier Inn to scramble to write up Mark Hughes’ reaction to the victory, before running for another train to meet my wonderful posh uni friend Felix for some drinks at a craft beer pub.

To top it off, after cocktails with my friend Eleanor, who I hadn't seen since my 2015 year abroad, my train home was TOO FULL to board, so I had to wait an extra half-hour to get back.

That whole weekend felt 100mph, and trains either feel like that, or in the case of that London trip in 2018, 10mph.

I might have the odd M62 closure, and traffic jams stretching for miles in future, but all in all, it’s definitely time to get that licence I’m craving.