WITH the antics of TV’s Love Island contestants getting more column inches in the papers than the World Cup, I tuned in to see what all the fuss is about.

I was bored rigid within ten minutes. Set in a luxury Majorcan villa, the reality show focuses on a group of ‘sexy singles’ who have to pair up to remain on the programme. Anyone left without a partner is sent home.

To sum up the episode: A fancied B, B kissed C, A was upset, D came to comfort. This scenario was dissected by the group in minute detail, with immaculately made up women carefully dabbing away tears to limit damage to mascara-laden lashes, and muscle-toned men pretending to offer shoulders to cry on, but clearly having ulterior motives. Their conversations were inane and pointless, like those you’d expect from teenagers in school.

I expected to see a few palm-fringed beaches, picturesque coves and azure seas, but the whole thing is set in the villa. It’s like Big Brother in the Med. There wasn’t any sex, but texts inviting people to share beds suggested it was definitely on the cards.

Why 85,000 people applied to go on this eight-week ITV 2 show I’ll never know. I’d rather spend the time on Alcatraz, complete with prisoners.

There’s a trend in TV shows - in particular reality TV - to stick people on islands to find love.

There’s Temptation Island, the American programme in which several couples live with a group of single people of the opposite sex, in order to test the strength of their relationships. I haven’t seen it, but it sounds like a recipe for misery and mayhem.

And ITV’s Take Me Out, which sends couples to the fictitiously-named Isle of Fernandos, which is in fact Tenerife. This format, I can cope with. Two people - who don’t look like they’ve been cloned from Barbie and Ken - coming together in a fun game show. They have a day out, followed by a meal, testing the waters for a possible future relationship. There’s no hanky panky under duvets, just a quick kiss if they’re lucky.

Those looking for love probably have more chance finding it on an island-based show where romance isn’t on the agenda, and where, due to real challenges, true personalities are revealed.

Geordie nurse Laura Spence and London glazier Phil McCrae believe their romance will outlast anything on Love Island, after hitting it off on Channel 4’s The Island, the TV series hosted by Bear Grylls, which sees people transported to a remote uninhabited island and left to fend for themselves. They will have seen each other warts and all, not just lazing around a poolside getting a tan.

And if I remember rightly, there were quite a few long-lasting relationships forged during Castaway 2000, the ambitious, year-long reality BBC TV programme in which a community was created from scratch on a remote Scottish island.

By far my favourite island-based reality TV show ever, the many different characters, their strengths and weaknesses, friendships and bust-ups, and attempts at self-governance, made for riveting viewing. It was made all the more interesting through the beautiful setting and the back-breaking work that to be done for the project to succeed. It was a very far cry from Love Island, and all the better for it. I remember it clearly, despite it having aired 18 years ago.

Despite the hype, I don’t think I’ll be giving Love Island another look, although I was amused to learn this week that one contestant has led such a sheltered life she has no idea what Brexit is.

Good luck to whoever ends up with her.