As a child, the only part of my paper round I enjoyed was getting paid at the end of the week. Doing one as an adult is an entirely different matter.

I’ve really enjoyed accompanying my daughter on hers for a number of weeks, meeting and chatting to people who live close to me, but to whom I haven’t spoken before.

Not that everyone is so welcoming. Some clearly don’t like to see strangers wandering up their drive. My daughter’s round is vast and, though my experience is limited, people and their homes seem to fall into the following categories: The hermits: Some households have so many ‘go away and leave us alone’ stickers attached to their door it’s terrifying just walking up the drive. They say ‘NO’ to doorstep sellers, ‘NO’ to free papers, ‘NO’ to junk mail and, presumably, ‘NO’ to anyone who isn’t immediate family or friend.

One or two even have electronic gates which clank like prison doors as you tentatively creep in and out. I half expect huge searchlights to flash on and follow me up and down the path. A couple even have child-deterring ‘mosquito’ alarms, which, having a dodgy ear, I’m able to hear.

The show-homers: These houses are maintained in such an utterly pristine condition, not a blade of grass or lick of paint is out of place.

Also child-unfriendly, they have neatly-placed, dust-free ornaments in windows and such highly-polished letterboxes that a mere fingerprint stands out in glaring, high definition. I try to push the paper through without touching the box, as if my grubby paw print will be incriminating in some way.

The slobs: After delivering to a show home, I’m always heartened to visit these houses. It is good to know that I’m not alone in my slobbery and that other people have children’s trainers, the dirty socks and weed-ridden plant pots strewn about on either side of the door.

The wildlife-free zones: Some people go to great lengths to deter wildlife and plants. I was appalled to come across houses whose owners string plastic bags along the eaves to prevent birds nesting, and even fix bird-deterrent spikes along the pitch of their roofs. Others have uprooted every piece of greenery in favour of ugly slate chippings.

The improvers: These people never stop working on their house, whether its an extra room, loft conversion, or revamp of the living room, the place always looks like a builders’ yard, with cement mixers on the drive and skips in the road.

The greens: Their homes are surrounded by recycling bins of every description. These people never throw anything away. I expect they knit their own shoes, too.