Siddle enjoys happy birthday at England's expense

I’m not one for reading too much into things but I’d say we’re definitely going to lose now.

Maybe they lulled our boys into a false sense of security, as Strauss and Co looked like they were strolling out to play a quick game at the local park rather than the first Test at the Gabba.

You can just imagine Ricky Ponting, Mike Hussey and Mitchell Johnson et al giggling like schoolboys as they waited in the wings to ‘welcome’ their opponents.

I don’t know what England actually had at tea-time but Peter Siddle appeared to have drunk a pint of rocket fuel as he blasted through our middle order.

As far as birthdays go, Siddle’s 26th could not have gone any better if he’d won the lottery, found a cure for the common cold and been given a triple chocolate birthday cake.

Siddle, whose inclusion at the expense of Doug Bollinger raised a few eyebrows, had the perfect reason to celebrate with a bottle or two of champagne after knocking over England batsmen like skittles in a bowling alley.

It wasn’t all bad, as Ian Bell made a determined 76 and Alastair Cook racked up 67, but other than that, English highlights were harder to find than an X Factor contestant with any talent.

Of course, it’s still so early in the series that the fat lady hasn’t even started writing her song. But as indications go, the first day’s message is something along the lines of ‘let battle commence’.

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