I watched as my baby died of meningitis

Heather Holmes said she has been left feeling numb over the death of eight-month-old Joshua Ellis Holmes, and shocked at how quickly the infection had taken hold.

Heather, 30, said Joshua had been playing happily at home in Windhill, Shipley, hours before pneumococcal meningitis, one of the deadliest strains, left him fighting for life.

Joshua's condition fluctuated during the next 24 hours, before he suffered a seizure from which he did not recover.

It left Heather, also mother to ten-year-old Emma and two-and-a-half-year-old Brett, facing the agonising decision to turn off Joshua's life support machine.

The tragedy began when Heather found Joshua was running a temperature in the early hours.

"Straight away I checked for a rash, because that's what they tell you to do," she said.

"I know when my children are poorly, so I rang for an ambulance. His temperature was 38-and-a-half degrees. He was listless. He was screaming as if in pain. I knew something was wrong."

Joshua was taken to Bradford Royal Infirmary where casualty staff administered medicine to try to reduce his temperature. Heather said: "I thought perhaps he had diarrhoea. I asked if he could have got it from the other two who'd just had it.

"They couldn't tell straight away. They didn't know it was meningitis."

Heather thought Joshua might even be missing his favourite dummy with a thick teat.

He was transferred to paediatrics for tests, but medical staff could not confirm meningitis.

Joshua's condition then improved enough for Heather to bring him home the next morning, but by noon she again became worried about her son's condition.

She said: "I tried to get fluids down him but he wouldn't eat anything. It wasn't my baby. My baby was full of beans, he was always crawling."

Joshua was again running a temperature so Heather returned to hospital. He was admitted, a chest x-ray was carried out and he was placed on a drip.

Joshua's condition was stable and Heather was able to feed him before she returned to care for Emma and Brett overnight.

She phoned BRI and was told he appeared fine and had accepted solid food, but remained on the drip.

She arrived at 11am the next day, but Joshua did not appear normal.

"He didn't seem like he was when I left him. He looked sleepy.

"Then he had a seizure about five minutes into me being there. They said not to worry about it and that it was to do with his temperature.

"He was given something to control the seizure and he went to sleep. He never came back round.

"He was taken to a different room and put on a breathing machine."

Joshua was transferred to the Royal Manchester Children's Hospital that evening.

"I tried to get him into Leeds because of the other two, but there was no room.

"At that time I wished I could have split myself in two to be with all of them."

Joshua's poorly condition remained.

"They said there wasn't much they could do. They had him on a breathing machine. He was having morphine. I had to come home. I was ringing and ringing and they were saying he was stable and they were to do another chest x-ray. I think by then they were suspecting meningitis, but they couldn't say if it was or what strain.

"They said to me they wanted to do a brain scan. They said then that it had got to his brain and that his brain had swollen up. They said it was the pneumococcal type with Josh and that it had gone to his brain."

"I was talking to him all the time. I was praying he would come round. The machines were breathing for him and pumping drugs into him.

"I asked what chance he had and they said the next 72 hours would be crucial. His heart rate was too high and his blood pressure was too low.

"I didn't know he was going to die. I was hoping he would come out of it.

Desperate to care for her other children, Heather left for home, but was called half-way and told Joshua's condition had worsened.

She turned back.

"I was kissing him and holding his hand. The doctor said he was brain dead. I said for them to switch the machine off. I didn't want him messed about with any longer.

"It was my option. I wanted no more drugs. I knew my child had gone in the afternoon.

"The meningitis had got to his brain, which was not fully formed. I didn't want him suffering."

Joshua died soon after.

"It happened so quickly," said Heather.

"It felt like in 24 hours he had gone from crawling around in his nappy to have gone.

"I still can't come to terms with it. The other two have got me through it."

Heather praised medical staff.

"The hospital was brilliant. They did footprints and fingerprints in the hospital and are doing a cast of his foot."

"Brett thinks his little brother is sleeping with the angels now. My daughter has been a tower of strength, but children of ten should not have to go through that.

"I still cry. In the mornings and at night is hard because that's when I bath and feed him. I've got my memories.

"He was happy all the time. He was an outgoing baby, never poorly. He had his moments when he would scream, but he always woke with a smile."