Marriage and family life are to be put at the centre of sex education in schools.

For the first time, the government has laid down guidelines for schools which will create a national framework on personal, social and health education.

Schools will now be forced to teach children during Personal and Social Education (PSE) that marriage is what family life is all about.

However, there are concerns that this unequivocal message could effectively be condemning children in the classroom who happily live in alternative households.

Neil Donkin, head teacher of Eccleshill School, said he supported the framework, but stressed it was important not to alienate children who lived with one parent or with parents who are not married.

"I have no query with what the Secretary of State is saying from a personal and professional point of view, but we have got to be sensitive.

"It would be wrong of us to exclude any child because their family pattern was different from the government's family pattern.

"Once during PSE, we were talking about marriage and one boy told me that his mum and dad were not married and they were still deeply in love. He said he could not see the relevance of marriage. It is difficult to argue with that.

"It has to be handled very carefully. You have to talk to children about tolerance of differences and value of differences."

Tony Thorne, head teacher of Hanson School, said government rules on how PSE should be delivered were welcome.

"It is very good because at some schools PSE is something that is bolted on the end with very little thought."

Marriage issues must be dealt with sensitively, he said. "We can't go beating a child with a stick that their parents aren't married."

Every school in the country has a statutory duty to put together a sex education policy with the agreement of governors and parents.

It is usually taught during PSE lessons, which can vary from school to school.

The government's new guidelines underline that teaching with new rules about what can and can't be taught.

The Secretary of State for Education, David Blunkett, said it was an important step.

"It is the first time that we have set into a framework that pupils should be taught about the importance of marriage, family life, love and stable relationships in bringing up children."

The guidelines clearly state that children should be taught that marriage and family life are the building blocks of society. And that stable relationships are the key to bringing up children.

The aim, said Mr Blunkett, was to help youngsters deal with the difficult and moral and social questions which will arise during the course of their adult lives.

Phil Moon, head teacher of Bradford Christian School in Eccleshill, said it was fundamental to teach the importance of marriage and family at school.

"We have clear aims," said Mr Moon. "There is a growing awareness that schools have to look more at issues of young people growing up and taking their place in the world."

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