The adverts above the toilets in the Highfield Road main stand were a few weeks behind the times.

"Who will be relegated?" they asked on behalf of an internet betting firm. "It's getting hairy ..."

The bald facts are that men on Mars have known the identity of the three teams going down from the Premiership. Two of them were carrying out the last rites just yards away.

If you were still a bit slow on the uptake, the Bradford City supporters bouyantly bellowed: "Going down, going down." Their Coventry counterparts obligingly replied: "So are we!"

Last day of the season is always slightly surreal. Fans traditionally turn it into a carnival as grown men struggle to surpress the urge to dress up in furry animal outfits.

A few years back, Birmingham's supporters got into trouble for invading the pitch at Crystal Palace. Police later revealed their chief suspect for sparking the disturbance was an eight foot gorilla ...

The touring Bantams on Saturday were well represented by Elvis Presley, all four teletubbies, the full cast of Village People and some kilted Highlanders. My apologies if I missed any nuns, schoolgirls, sheikhs or pantomime cows.

"We're all going on a Nationwide tour," they chanted as if a return to the First Division was like qualification to the Champions' League.

But it made for an electrifying atmosphere at a game that was so academic it could have been declared an honourable draw beforehand and saved everyone the bother.

That, though, would have denied us the chance to see the Mexican Wave return to the English game.

It wasn't spontaneous but after four or five false-starts in the City section, the home supporters finally got the hint and the cheers swept around the stadium.

Even the old 70-somethings in front of the press box tottered gingerly to their feet, arms pointing skyward. Well at about shoulder-height anyway.

It looked a good few years since they last tried that trick. About as far back as the last time they smiled as well, judging by Coventry's abysmal home record.

City's fans certainly won the battle of the stands hands down as the Sky Blue faithful offered their players only a lukewarm farewell.

Coventry chairman Bryan Richardson pre-empted some of the grumbles by announcing that ticket prices would be slashed by £4 across the board for next season. Releasing the details four days before the final home game was the cutist piece of timing.

The home players came in for a few boos in their reluctant lap of honour afterwards and some fans hung around the car park to shout against the directors. But there was little venom behind the protests.

Even the songs showed that Coventry's supporters had accepted their fate as their target of local scourn changed from old enemy Aston Villa to Walsall by half-time.

Not that the Bantam backers were worried as a 50-strong conga snaked around the gangways. The Premiership leaving party was in full swing and those guests from West Yorkshire were having a ball.

As our friends the construction worker, the traffic cop, cowboy and indian would surely point out: "Young man, there's no need to feel down ..."