Q: Dear Kate, my mum never gets emotional or tells me how she feels. It’s something I’m used to, but now I’m sick of her expectation that I should be the same as her. She gave me some news about my dad’s health and got cross with me when I got upset about it. He’s not getting any younger, and I worry about him so why should I feel like I need to apologise for my feelings?

 A: You don’t have to apologise for your feelings. I’m not making excuses for your mum’s response to you, but it might be helpful for you to put yourself in her shoes for a minute. If I was her I would be scared about what’s on the horizon, and maybe I would take that out on those around me. The important person in the middle of all this is your dad. Why don’t you talk to him about his health? Find out how he’s coping, and how he feels about the news. Tell him how much you care and worry about him, despite your mum’s attitude to this. At the end of the day, as harsh as it sounds, he won’t be there forever. It’s probably going to mean a lot to him to hear how you feel – and you may not get the opportunity to do that if fate takes over. So talk to him sooner rather than later, and let your mum deal with things in her own way. You’re expecting her to respect your way of dealing with things, so try and do the same. I hope you work this out, for everyone’s sake. Good luck.

Q: Dear Kate, I know you get lots of letters about people in relationships but I don’t think anyone has written to say they were scared of telling their boyfriend they love him! That’s exactly the situation I’m in; I know I’ve got myself a special bloke and it has gone through my mind that I love him. It’s just that when I’m with him and feeling it, I can’t bring myself to say it. Any idea what that’s all about? Or how I can get over this hurdle?

 A: 'Hurdle’, eh? Well, I’ve never heard anyone describe being in love as that! I wonder what has happened to you to make you so afraid of such a wonderful state of mind? You certainly do sound frightened of your feelings and my advice to you is to work out why. I’m guessing that you’ve been hurt a great deal in the past and are not prepared to let that happen again. My concern is that if you do not find a way to get over this 'hurdle' you’ll never allow yourself to love again. Do you realise how terribly sad that sounds? I hope so. Start by working out what you have to lose by saying 'I love you'. It may be that you’ll feel vulnerable, scared, and uncertain. But that’s how we all feel when Cupid comes along. No-one can predict what the future holds; we just have to take a leap of faith. If we don’t then we find that life, and opportunities for happiness, have passed us by. Search deep inside and find your courage, because I truly believe it’s better to regret something you have done than something you haven’t.