PERFECTIONISM - it’s another one of those words often tossed around casually, but it carries a weight that many of us underestimate.

While striving for excellence is something many of us are encouraged to do, perfectionism is a different thing altogether. It’s the relentless pursuit of flawlessness, an unattainable goal that can have a real impact on our mental well-being.

Why do some people become perfectionists? The roots often lie in childhood. Perhaps they grew up in a highly critical environment, where worth was equated with achievement.

Or maybe they experienced significant failures early on, leading to a desperate need to avoid them at all costs.

Genetic predisposition is also said to play a role. In more recent years of course, we have the input from social media which can fuel insecurities and make us compare ourselves to others who have seemingly perfect lives.

Perfectionists share many common traits. They set impossibly high standards, are overly self-critical, and fear failure intensely. Procrastination is another common trait, as they dread falling short. They may also be people-pleasers, desperate for approval, something I was talking about a couple of weeks ago in this column.

The impact of perfectionism on mental health is undeniable. It can lead to chronic stress, anxiety, and depression. The constant pressure to be perfect can erode self-esteem and create a vicious cycle of self-doubt. Perfectionists may also experience physical symptoms such as insomnia, headaches, and digestive issues.

Social relationships can suffer as well. Perfectionists may isolate themselves, fearing judgment. Their need for control can strain relationships, as they struggle to delegate or compromise, or engage in controlling or critical behaviour towards others.

While perfectionism can be a challenging habit to break, it is possible to overcome. The first step is self-awareness. Recognising the patterns of perfectionism in your life is crucial. Challenge your all-or-nothing thinking. Remember, progress, not perfection, is key.

Practicing self-compassion is essential. Treat yourself with the kindness and understanding you would offer a friend. Learn to embrace mistakes as opportunities for growth. Setting realistic goals and celebrating small victories can also help.

Building a support system is vital. Talking to friends, family, or others can provide invaluable perspective. Joining a support group can also be beneficial.

Remember, perfection is an illusion. It’s okay to be imperfect. By understanding the nature of perfectionism and taking steps to challenge it, you can reclaim your mental health.

Remember, you are enough, just as you are.

* Local Walking Group News

If you read my column regularly, you will know that I frequently talk about just how good for us connecting with others can be for our mental health. I also talk about how walking can be one of the best things to help our sense of well-being and get all the ‘happy hormones’ flowing. So, I’m delighted to tell you about a local independent walking group that meets up every Thursday, before taking the bus or train to that week’s chosen walk.

Patricia, who is one of the organisers, explained to me that the group is all about getting people to chat and connect, whilst enjoying a good walk. They usually finish each walk with a café or pub lunch, which members will need to pay for themselves. There is no fee for joining the walking group, and members are free to go on as many or as few walks as they like.

Patricia told me that everyone is welcome and made to feel included. Recent meet-ups have included canal walks and woodland walks. Walkers are also welcome to suggest new routes for the group to try at a later date.

Taking that first step into trying something new can be a bit daunting, especially if you are already struggling with your thoughts and feelings, so you’re welcome to bring a friend or support worker on your first walk. I don’t have space here to tell you about all the other information Patricia gave me, but it seems to be a really well thought out and welcoming group.

If you’d like more details, or have any questions, contact Patricia on 07468 136485.

If you run any type of support group in and around Bradford, to help people with their mental health and well-being, do please get in touch so that I can include details in a future column.

Please note: If you feel you are in a mental health crisis or emergency and may be in danger of causing harm to yourself or others then please contact your GP, go to A&E, call the Samaritans on 116 123 or text SHOUT to 85258

* Martin Furber is a therapist qualified in various modalities and an Instructor Member of Mental Health First Aid England wellbeing@martinfurber.com