‘ANDY tries to lift both legs and his walking pole over and across a gnarled and twisted lump of a tree.’

Seconds later, his right foot, walking pole and fallen tree come together and he affects a rather dramatic and astonishingly balletic pirouette before he tumbles head over heels onto the grass.

The amusing spectacle is watched by friends Mick and James, and is one of many such incidents recorded in Peter Kay’s book A Very Alternative Coast to Coast, a gentle and humorous story of three men approaching retirement, who embark upon a walk of misadventure across the North of England.

Bradford Telegraph and Argus: Peter Kay doing what he enjoys bestPeter Kay doing what he enjoys best

‘Mick and Andy watch as James stops, first considers and then keeps turning the map he has in his hands. He spins round, “sorry,” he says, “must have gone past Finkle Street.” “Finkle Street,” says Mick,” I think that was the second turning we passed.” “Why didn’t you tell me?” fumes James. “I didn’t know you were looking for it, did I,” says Mick.

The friends follow a route that follows the bulk of the actual Coast to Coast, with some deviations. “My route starts at St Bees railway station and picks up the real Coast to Coast ends in Saltburn,” says Peter. “It goes down into Wasdale and into Langdale, where one of the men falls.

Bradford Telegraph and Argus: A view taken on the Coast to Coast walkA view taken on the Coast to Coast walk

“While writing the book I would hear the voices of the three characters in my head.”

Peter, who has two children and three grandchildren, enjoys writing. “I started off writing children’s books to read to my grandchildren,” he says. He drew inspiration from the many long distance walks that he has enjoyed over the years.

He has completed the Dales Way, the Wolds Way and the National Three Peaks Challenge - climbing the three highest peaks of Scotland, England and Wales, within 24 hours.

“That was a mad thing,” he laughs. And he has made his way up all the Wainwrights over 2000ft.

Prior to retirement in 2009 he worked for Bradford Council in social care, latterly as head of service for adults.

“Once I retired from full-time work it allowed me to do more. It was my lifetime ambition to walk the Pennine Way, which I did in 2012.

“It took two weeks and turned out to be the wettest British summer on record,” he says. “The underfoot conditions were particularly problematic.”

Afterwards he self-published a book The Pennine Way Odyssey, about the experience.

In 2016 Peter completed a 1006km pilgrimage route of the Via de La Plata, from Seville to Santiago Seville in Spain to Santiago de Compostela, covering almost the whole of Spain from south to north. He walked with friends, firstly Maureen, who had done the walk before, and further along the trail, John.

The walk resulted in a book Show me the way to Santiago. “If you have a name like Peter Kay you need a book with a name like that,” he says. “The book was about the people I met along the way, their stories, adventures together and most of all, the most valuable of commodities which seem so undervalued these days, humanity and friendship.”

Bradford Telegraph and Argus: Peter's book Show me the way to SantiagoPeter's book Show me the way to Santiago

It was published in 2020 by Shipley-based Curious Cat Books.

Also in 2016 Peter embarked on the Coast to Coast walk, a feat that would take him, along with friends John and Simon, three years on and off. “We did it in stages, walking a section then getting the bus back.

“We had a few incidents on the way, and we really enjoyed it.”

Bradford Telegraph and Argus: Peter with the books he has writtenPeter with the books he has written

Bradford Telegraph and Argus: Peter's new book Peter's new book (Image: submitted)

Royalties from book sales are going to the Disasters Emergency Committee Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal

*A Very Alternative Coast to Coast by Peter Kay is published by Curious Cat Books. Royalties from book sales are going to the Disasters Emergency Committee Ukraine Humanitarian Appeal