A PARTICULARLY poignant scene from the Queen’s state funeral was the arrival of Prince George and Princess Charlotte at Westminster Abbey.

Joining the senior royals in the procession behind the Queen’s coffin, the children seemed tiny, solemn figures in the midst of such an enormous occasion.

The presence of the Queen’s great grandchildren, aged nine and seven, has raised questions about whether children should attend funerals. Are they too young for such a sombre ritual? Or should they be included in the grieving process and given the opportunity to say goodbye to a loved one?

In September 1997 the young princes, William and Harry, walked behind their mother’s coffin at her funeral. The Duke of Sussex, who was 12 at the time, has since said since that “no child should be asked to do that”.

But that was the funeral of a relatively young woman, who died in tragic circumstances. The Queen’s funeral was a state affair and, since Prince George and Princess Charlotte are now second and third in line to the throne, their presence was a symbol of continuity of the monarchy.

Bradford Telegraph and Argus: The young royals arriving at St George's Chapel, Windsor Castle. Pic: Kirsty O'Connor/PA Wire The young royals arriving at St George's Chapel, Windsor Castle. Pic: Kirsty O'Connor/PA Wire (Image: Submitted)

Impeccably behaved, as you’d expect, the young siblings appeared to have an understanding of the occasion and its significance. It will have been a long day for George, in his suit and tie, and his little sister, swinging her legs from the pew, but royal children learn to grow up with the eyes of the world upon them. And being part of the funeral, albeit it one with so much pomp and ceremony, will help them to process their own sense of loss.

Facing death is part of life, and I don’t think it’s healthy to shield children from it. Some cultures embrace colourful family celebrations of the dead, enabling children to understand grief and the life cycle from a young age.

But in this country we tend to shut death away from children. When my grandad died it was talked about in hushed voices, behind closed doors, and my grandma wouldn’t have any grandchildren at his funeral. I was old enough to understand what was going on, and would’ve liked the chance to say goodbye, but it was very much for the grown-ups and I ended up feeling a huge sense of loss, yet strangely detached from it all.

Bereavement support charity Sue Ryder says most children have a full understanding of death by the time they’re about eight to 10-years-old. Its general advice is to give children the choice as to whether or not to attend a loved one’s funeral, and to explain what happens at a funeral in a way they can understand. Children are curious about the world, and about death, and being involved with elements of the grieving process from a young age is a way of helping them cope with bereavement.

It does, of course, have to be sensitively handled. How a child is confronted with death can have a lasting effect. There was a time when open caskets came home, into family sitting-rooms, for mourning ahead of the funeral. My dad never forgot the shock of being lifted up, as a five-year-old, to see his beloved aunt, who had died in childbirth aged just 21, in her coffin.

George and Charlotte will always remember attending the Queen’s funeral, surrounded by world leaders and massed military bands. And in being part of this historic occasion, watched by the world, they have been able to say their own goodbyes to a much-loved great gran.