"I THOUGHT if I stay I am going to end up dead, if I go, he is going to kill me."

A Bradford mother has bravely spoken of the domestic abuse she suffered at the hands of her ex-husband.

She said she was beaten and mentally abused by her former husband before finding the strength to leave him last year.

“I never thought I'd end up in an abusive relationship. I thought I wouldn't put up with that, but it happened so subtly and so very gradually," she said.

The mother-of-two met her partner online after feeling lonely as her youngest child was about to go to university.

Initially, she says the attention was nice, but that quickly changed.

"It wasn't that long into the relationship where I found it overwhelming," she said.

"He wanted to know what I was doing all the time.

"Once we lived together, I had a sense of high anxiety constantly with him always watching what I was saying and doing.

"I stopped listening to music because he didn't like it on. He would make comments that made it uncomfortable.

"I downplayed what he was doing even though I knew it wasn't right."

It was after the couple's wedding that the abuse turned violent.

"He beat me up two weeks after we got married, that was the first time," she said.

"You would think that I would know it is time to get out but I still didn't. Even then I was thinking 'how am I going to fix this? I don't want him to leave'."

The woman got in touch with Bradford-based domestic abuse and sexual violence charity, Staying Put's One Front Door helpline.

"I received a text saying 'is everything okay?' and I just burst into tears.

"Somebody has come to save me, I was thinking. That got the ball rolling.

"I didn't leave until May last year, but I had been planning to leave for eight months.

"One weekend, I just said, 'I have had enough, get your stuff and get out'."

"A year on, I am living. I feel like somebody has taken their foot off my head while treading water. That was my life.

"Now I can do whatever I want to do - you should always have that freedom."

  • If you have experienced, or are experiencing, domestic abuse or sexual violence and you need help, please call our One Front Door helpline on 0808 2800 999

The helpline is free and confidential and the call will not show up on itemised bills.
Charity workers will have a chat with you and give you your options on what you can do next and how they can support you.

The helpline is open from Monday to Friday, 9.30am to 1pm and 1.30pm to 4.30pm.

If you are in immediate danger always call 999.