WHEN Helen Clarke’s husband Angelo died, a cavalcade of scooters accompanied his funeral cortege. The coffin was a Ferrari shape, music from Angelo’s favourite shows was played and those attending wore bright colours.

Angelo, who had myeloma, died on Boxing Day in 2018, aged 52. He and Helen met as teenagers and were married for 30 years.

Helen, of Bingley, was determined to make his funeral a celebration of his life - scooter clubs turned out in tribute to his beloved collection of Vespas and Lambrettas, the show songs were a nod to his involvement with local theatre societies, and the Ferrari coffin was because he loved Formula 1.

After a 38-year career in banking, Helen had planned to retire to spend more time with Angelo. But when he died, her life changed. She trained as a celebrant, and now leads funeral services, weddings, vow renewals and baby-naming ceremonies.

"Angelo's funeral was a massive celebration of his life. There was lots of laughter and we played Going Underground. One of the funeral directors told me I'd make a good celebrant," says Helen. "Organising the funeral and speaking at it was a total honour. I wanted to do that for other people too."

Helen took a residential course run by the Institute of Professional Celebrants which covered various services, including coming of age and adoption celebrations. "Within two days of completing it she had her first funeral booking. "It seems a big leap, from bank manager to celebrant, but I had good presentation skills, both from work and being on stage, (Helen and Angelo appeared in many local productions) and in banking I dealt with people from different backgrounds for nearly 40 years," says Helen.

"Some friends and family thought it was too soon after Angelo, but it was empathy, not grief, that I brought to my new role. I've been there, I know what people are going through when they lose a loved one."

Helen finds being a celebrant rewarding: "It's an honour to be part of people's milestone moments. You have one shot and you have to get it absolutely right. I work closely with families. I've done funerals where the entire congregation has been laughing, because they remembered their loved one with lots of fun. Even in tragic circumstances, families want to celebrate that person's life.

"Often people aren't sure what a celebrant is or how we differ from Humanists. A Humanist service has no mention of religion, but as a celebrant I can say the Lord's Prayer or give a Bible reading if requested. I write bespoke services about the person involved. Some people want specific music, some want poetry. At one funeral, for an avid rugby fan, a rugby ball was placed in his coffin. Paintings, dog leads and a bottle of wine have all gone in coffins. In lockdown we raised a graveside toast with If I Were A Rich Man playing.

"People often feel their loved ones are there with them. I get lovely feedback. Someone told me: 'For 20 minutes, you brought Mum back to life'. Grandchildren come up to after funerals and say: 'I didn't know that about my grandma'."

Helen holds weddings and other ceremonies in various locations: "If a registrar is present, a wedding must be in a licensed venue, but my services can be outside. In the UK celebrants can't yet marry people, so the couple do that first with a registrar, then my bespoke ceremony, for family and friends, can be held anywhere - a golf club, a beach, a teepee, a garden. I've done handfasting weddings, which go back to Viking times, sand ceremonies, jumping the broom, even a Chinese tea ceremony."

Covid restrictions has a huge impact on funerals, and many weddings were postponed. "In September I'm doing a wedding ceremony for a couple who did the legal bit in 2020 - two years later they're having their celebration," says Helen. "Registrars are so stretched now, with so many re-arranged weddings. We're trying to make it legal for celebrants to marry people too."

"For baby-namings, people don't necessarily want religion, so we have guideparents and sprinkle rose petals instead of water.

"All my ceremonies are built around the person or people involved. With funerals, it's their final story, and everyone deserves to have their story told. Yet sadly, families often end up with a service in a church or crematorium that neither they nor their loved one wanted. People should never walk away from a funeral or any other service thinking 'I wish I'd done something different'. "

* Email clarkehelen009@gmail.com. Facebook: Helen Clarke The Celebrant of Celebration

Helen Clarke at The Celebrant Directory