“I DON’T fancy eating any food so I’ll just watch TV. That’s it, don’t speak to anyone, phone’s off.

“I was just sat in a dark room doing nothing.”

Oscar Threlkeld talks openly about his struggles during the toughest spell in his career.

He had always fancied a move abroad but his time in Belgium with Waasland-Beveren brought deeper problems when he wasn’t in the team.

The City defender had trouble sleeping as the mental demons took over.

“I’d look at my watch and it would be 4 or 5am,” he said. “Then I’d be thinking, ‘a few hours and I’ll be getting up to go training’ so do I really want to go back to sleep?

“I was at that stage when I didn’t want to get up but I had to because I love football. I had to get out the house.

“If I had stayed in, maybe I’d have had more depression, more anxiety.

“When I was over the white line, it was fine. I could just focus on football.

“But then afterwards I had to go back to an empty home. What was I going to do?”

Threlkeld asked for help and he was put in touch with a psychologist. As he talked, he could feel the weight lift.

“There was someone in my family who was struggling with mental health and anxiety themselves.

“They said I needed to speak to somebody. I spoke to the manager in Belgium and told him that I wasn’t in the right head space.

“Luckily enough, he had a psychologist who was willing to come in and work with players who need it.

“I was so nervous before meeting him, sweating, I couldn’t eat. I felt that I was either going to say nothing or absolutely everything.

“I ended up saying everything and the moment I walked out of there, I had this massive sigh of relief.

“I was so glad that I did it. I went home, spoke to my parents on the phone and actually slept well that night.”

Threlkeld became City’s official mental health ambassador in October as the club linked up with Andy’s Man Club Bradford, a support group for anyone finding it tough.

It is a role that Threlkeld takes very seriously.

From his own personal experiences, he knows how important it is not to let things bottle up.

That has not traditionally been easy in the macho culture of football but Threlkeld has seen attitudes change over the last decade.

Threlkeld admitted: “It was seen as a weakness if you didn’t feel right. Am I being soft? Am I a fairy or whatever?

“But it’s important to speak out and there are people here now who will listen to you.

“You don’t have to pretend to be someone that you’re not and don’t have to put this persona on that you’re some tough, hard guy when you’re really just a normal person going through a struggle.

“The best thing is to speak out and get knowledge from the professionals or someone in your family.”

Nearly three years on from hitting his lowest point in Belgium, Threlkeld still has those difficult days at times. But he has learned how to cope with them.

“Life is a lot easier to manage,” he added. “I now know how to deal with my bad days.

“You’re never going to beat it. It’s always going to be in the back of your mind.

“But again, it’s learning how to deal with your emotions and your thinking. It’s a case of just trying to have a plan in place to keep your mind occupied.”

Threlkeld can appreciate how the last 21 months and locking people in their homes at various times during the pandemic has caused major issues.

“It’s made it worse 100 per cent.

“You can’t go anywhere when it first happened or you’re only allowed to walk around your street or whatever.

“You can’t see your family. If you’re at home on your own, what are you going to do?

“You’re going to be sat there with your own thoughts. Shall I watch TV, I’ve done that, what can I do now? Nothing, cool.

“It’s just repeated day after day. Then when you’re finally allowed to go out and see your parents, you’re not allowed to touch each other when all you need is to be held by someone.

“Covid has caused a lot of depression with people. It has put a lot of people in a dark place.”

But there has been one positive that has emerged for Threlkeld in these very testing couple of years – the acceptance of mental health as a proper conversation.

“That’s what it’s all about. Get the help you need, whether it’s just talking to someone or something more in-depth.

“We’re obviously not out of it yet (with the pandemic) but hopefully for now, people can speak up and get that help. You will see the difference that can make.”

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