Amy's story of baby loss and pregnancy during covid

Amy Briggs, who lives in Queensbury, lost her child at 12 weeks in the first wave of Covid-19 and at an appointment she had to attend on her own.

Her partner, who was waiting outside in the car, had expected Amy to come back from her 12 week scan with photographs. Instead she had to reveal the devastating news that there was no heartbeat.

Amy had already bought clothes and a baby changing unit, describing the moment she heard the baby's heartbeat at a private scan weeks before the loss as "the happiest time".

Amy told the Telegraph & Argus: "We was so excited for a updated picture of our little baby. I went into the scan room, all smiley. She began the scan and I instantly knew something was wrong. I had to go and empty my bladder so she could do a internal scan as she was struggling to find a heartbeat. As I went back into the scan room I could see a little blob on the screen and I knew a 12 week baby didn’t look like that.

"It didn’t feel real, you hear about this stuff but it doesn’t happen to you. I had a missed miscarriage at 8 weeks six days.

"As soon as I left the scan room, the news hit me - seeing all the happy pregnant women walking past me with there beautiful bumps and I broke down and started to cry I tried to pull myself together and find my partner. All I remember thinking is how do I even tell him this, he’s expecting a new photo. I had nothing to show him. As I saw his face I broke down again. I was pregnant still but our little baby’s heart had stopped beating."

Three days later Amy was booked for a hospital appointment to remove her baby - once again facing the traumatic situation alone.

She said: "I was put in a room which was beautiful, peaceful and on my own. I couldn’t stop crying, thinking it was the last day I would be pregnant all I wanted was for my partner to be next to me. It was a long, lonely day.

"I made the decision that baby Flynn would be coming home with us. They supplied a beautiful little wooden box and a memory box. We made the decision to bury baby Flynn a day later in our grandma's garden so they would always be close.

"We bought a beautiful plant and that’s where baby Flynn lays today."

Amy said the emotional ordeal meant she "accepted" that perhaps she might never be a mother, having struggled for several years to conceive. As the months passed, her partner went back to working away in the armed forces while she stayed at home on furlough.

Amy said: "I spent most of my days in bed, trying to sleep the time away before I drove myself crazy. We came out of lockdown, I changed jobs, things seemed to be looking up life and then I fell pregnant again. I’d given up on the thought of being a mum and just accepted it. I was amazed however worried about it happening again.

"If I could say anything to women going through this is that there is hope and never give up on yourself you are truly one of the strongest women out there."

With their little one healthy and due in June, Amy wants to raise awareness of baby loss and normalise early pregnancy announcements on so loved ones can support mothers if something goes wrong.

Reflecting on the pregnancy so far, Amy said: "It’s been emotionally draining if I’m honest, being alone, not having friends and family to meet up with to even discuss my anxiety."

To combat her anxiety, Amy has joined a fellow Bradford mum's Facebook group 'UK Pregnant & New Mums on lockdown' - a place to discuss health, wellbeing and baby advice with over 6,000 mothers going through similar journeys.

It was set up by Vicky Davis, a mum-of-four from Queensbury, who experienced feelings of isolation and depression during her pregnancy.

"This group has been a life saver," Amy said.

"Anything I need to ask, no matter how embarrassing or upsetting, everyone is so helpful, understanding and willing to share their stories. They gave me hope that you can have a happy healthy baby after miscarriages."