DISCOVERING your loved one has a terminal illness is devastating.

For the person who is suffering with the illness, coping with that knowledge seems incomprehensible, and for the carer - knowing you are going to lose the person you love is utterly unbearable.

The journey from diagnosis to THAT day, the day you have dreaded when you have to say goodbye is probably one of the hardest things you will have to cope with in life, physically and emotionally.

And that is why having the support and care of a hospice environment is so imperative. Most importantly is the care and compassion they provide to patients, but support is also given to families too.

For Alan Parry and his late wife, Ellie, having the support of their local Sue Ryder Manorlands hospice helped immensely when coping with Ellie's terminal illness.

The couple had been together for 15 years and Ellie's diagnosis, after being admitted to hospital with suspected kidney stones, turned their lives upside down.

Within four hours their lives had changed forever when they were told the devastating news: Ellie had two primary cancers, lung and kidney.

"We were devastated with the news. Within seven weeks she had major surgery to remove her kidney and left lung," recalls Alan.

"The following year was spent in and out of hospitals receiving treatments; some of the experiences we encountered were indifferent to say the least. Later on in 2013 after treatment in hospital, she became ill with infections and at this point she refused to go back to hospital for any future treatment. Sure enough in March 2014 infection returned, after visits from our local doctors, they contacted Manorlands Hospice for help."

In accordance with Ellie’s wishes, Manorlands Hospice arranged for a home visit from a community nurse specialist from the hospice to help develop a care plan to meet her needs at home giving her independence and a quality of life.

Ellie’s community nurse specialist also arranged district nurses’ appointments and out of hours emergency cover when needed.

The most important benefit for Ellie was having the knowledge that when the time came she could be at home or in the hospice rather than in hospital.

Together with Joanna, her assigned community nurse specialist from Manorlands Hospice, assurances were given that Ellie's wishes would be carried out.

In June 2015, and during the final week of her life, Ellie had been admitted to Manorlands Hospice for further treatment. She was 49 when she passed away, pain free and with dignity in a comfortable environment.

Alan, who is now helping to raise funds for the hospice, including helping to produce 3,000 fun books for children who visit Manorlands with their families, said being at the hospice gave Ellie 'peace of mind' as the team also provide psychological and emotional support to patients and their families.

Hospice Care Week which started on Monday and runs until Sunday (October 9) aims to profile the invaluable work hospices provide to patients and their families.

Themed on 'Hospice care is.....' the week highlights every aspect of the extraordinary care hospices provide from the well known to the lesser known. For example, one hospice granted a patient's dying wish to feed her horse for the last time and another arranged a wedding for a patient to get married.

"The quality of care, the confidence, independence and emotional support, you name it, we got it," says Alan.

Testimony to the benefits the hospice's community care has brought to families, Manorlands has since expanded its services, with community nurse specialists now providing seven day support, including weekend cover, helping to avoid unnecessary hospital admissions at the weekend.

They also support people at home offering complementary therapies. The therapy team can arrange visits through the week and during the weekend so people don't have to travel to the hospice or hospital to receive physiotherapy or occupational therapy, and there is also a befriending service supporting carers and patients to tackle social isolation and improve general well-being.

Lizzie Procter, Hospice Director at Sue Ryder Manorlands Hospice, says: “We recognise that a diagnosis of a terminal illness poses an incredible challenge for any individual and their loved ones, from understanding what will happen to the person they love, to what care they need as well as how to find emotional support."

She says they also understand how weekends in particular can be difficult for carers when they feel more vulnerable.

"We have looked at what services patients and their carers could access so that they do not have to face extra fear, isolation and distress during such a difficult time," says Lizzie.

She explains they work closely with other healthcare providers and have established a new partnership with Airedale Hospital to enable

"Having the right support means more people will be able to remain at home where they want to be cared for," adds Lizzie.

Says Alan: "I would like to thank all the staff for providing the best of care and support for the whole family even after Ellie had passed away. The help and advice from doctors and staff, social workers and Ellie’s community nurse specialist, Joanna, who stayed with the family throughout Ellie’s passing away. You were all so valuable and made everything less stressful and more acceptable for Ellie and the whole family.

For more information visit hospiceuk.org