Listen: I shall say this only once. 'Allo 'Allo, Jeremy Lloyd and David Croft's World War II comedy set in France, ran for nine seasons, or 85 episodes, between 1982-92.

At the time doubt was expressed about the taste of turning the Nazi occupation of France into a comedy sitcom; but Lloyd and Croft, old hands at writing for television, soon showed that human nature was the object of the laughter.

One of the best-known story-lines involves a valuable painting - The Fallen Madonna with the Big Boobies - and a length of German sausage. This is the story that has been used for the stage version that is Bingley Little Theatre's next production.

"We 'ave ways of making you laugh," said BLT director Kevin Moore. He promises to serve up generous pre-Christmas helpings of double entendres, enduring stereotypes and wild complications.

How will the made for TV show transfer to the stage? With a comparatively big cast of 20 and a host of expectations to contend with, Kevin Moore is nevertheless optimistic.

"We have pictures in our minds of the original actors, but we know what to expect and perhaps it's precisely that which brings us delight; it is how expectations are met that is the hook of any farce."

There are other reasons for his confidence. The track record of writers David Croft and Jeremy Lloyd, for example. Add Are You being Served? Dad's Army, Hi-de-Hi and It ain't Half Hot Mum is a pretty formidable list of success.

Allo Allo regularly played to audiences of 12 million. In addition, stage spin-offs in 1986 and again in the 1990s attracted international audiences.

Bingley Little Theatre's production has Phil Holborough as stressed-out caf owner Rene. His wife Edith is played to ear-grating effect by BLT chairman Nadine Walker who will be accompanied on accordian and piano by newcomer Roger Gillies.

Expect dancing girls and lots of Gallic ooh la la! in the shape of lovely Yvette, played by Carol Southby.

The strong cast includes Jadine Smith as Michelle and Keighley's Bruce Grainger as Le Clerc. BLT regular Ian Wilkinson is in attendance as Captain Bertorelli and Philip Jordan plays the Gestapo gimp in leather with a limp, Otto Flick.

So, fingers and bread rolls at the ready as Madame Edith, ever ready with a song in her heart, prepares to turn your ears to cheese graters.

Better still, allow Rene and his two lovely waitresses to whisk you back to a little comic nostalgia away from Political Correctness, Big Brother and all the other stresses of modern life.

  • 'Allo 'Allo is at Bingley Arts Centre from December 4-9, starting at 7.30pm. The box office number is (01274) 432000.