HUSBAND: “I couldn’t find the cat litter.”

Me: “It’s outside near the garage, I put it there when the joiner came to look at the floor.”

Husband: “I looked, but it’s not there, so I haven’t changed it.”

Me (opening the back door): “It’s there, I can see it.”

I would like to relay this snippet of conversation - which is typical of the daily exchanges in our home - to Vicky Bingham, head teacher at South Hampstead High School in London.

I would like her to hear it as part of my evidence - and there’s enough to keep an Old Bailey jury going for months - that men need to be ‘micro managed.’

Ms Bingham says that too many women ‘infantilise’ their husbands by leaving to-do lists around the house when they go away. She criticises mothers for ‘micromanaging’ domestic responsibilities in the home, arguing that it perpetuates the myth that their husbands are incapable of carrying out these tasks themselves.

It’s no myth. If I leave my husband with, say, three relatively simple tasks to do when I am out, chances are that, when I return, all three will either be left undone, or will not have been done properly.

Only last night I had to stress to him not to fold and stack damp laundry ‘to dry’ and not to put damp clothes on top of dry, ready-to-iron garments.

Over the years I’ve left countless ‘to do’ notes for my husband. A stranger reading them would think they were directed at a pre-schooler, but if they are not written in an ‘idiot’s guide’ way they wouldn’t make it through his oddly-wired male brain.

‘Clean the microwave, and remember to wipe all round, the roof and sides, not just the base’; ‘Close the window in the shower room' (if we leave it open and are burgled we can’t claim on insurance - this is something I have to stress most days), ‘Change the Hoover cylinder outside to avoid getting dust all over - bin liners are in the second drawer down;’ ‘Wash a whole load, not just three items’.

The last time I left my husband to clean out the stove he seemed to do a great job. It was only when it was burning away later that night and ash was falling out that I realised he had not replaced the pan.

Says Ms Bingham: “I have listened to them (mothers) lament apparently having to micromanage decisions about coats, socks, baths and homework, on top of demanding jobs.

“Managing duties in the home and remembering key family dates should be a shared responsibility.'

But it usually isn't. If it’s a household bill or other financial issue and it’s in my husband’s name, I have to make the call, pass the phone to him and stand over him to make sure he relays the correct information.

With the student loans company - with whom we seem to be permanently in dispute - I have had to set up a ‘consent to share’ arrangement which gives me the right to discuss my husband’s finances with them. And as for key dates - never in the history of our marriage has my husband said to me: “Oh, it is so and so’s birthday, we must send a card.”

I am not saying he is useless. Far from it - he cooks most of our meals, tends the garden and is great at DIY. He is also better at some things than me. He pairs up socks before hanging them out to dry, he is far tidier, and, unlike me, he is organised in the kitchen. He also works full-time in a difficult job, whereas I am part-time. But, generally speaking - and my mother agrees - when there’s a woman to fall back on, blokes mentally opt-out. That’s how it is, and how it always will be.