8:17am Tuesday 30th June 2009
By Alan Molineaux
The Molineaux house has been awash with sun-tan lotions this weeks as the girls prepare for the holiday season. Amazingly the sun is out during the Wimbledon fortnight and the whole thing seems remarkably like summer.
The weather reports are full of warnings about the effects of both the heat and the excess amount of pollen. I have just heard one reporter offering the essential information “keep cool and drink plenty of liquid”. What would we do without such advice?
Daytime TV is full of programmes telling us how to avoid getting burned in the sun and the national papers can’t resist headlines with the word ‘scorcher’ in them.
If this is not enough, we have the appearance of scientists on our screens warning about the effects of global warming and its possible links to our present hot spell of weather.
The female members of my family take little notice of any of this and insist on being outside as much as possible. It seems that getting a tan before you go on holiday is the way to go.
Mrs M is a practice nurse so she quite rightly insists that they have factor-300 lotion on, but they still go out in order to ‘pre-tan’.
Daughter number three returned home today from a two-day camping trip looking somewhat lobster-like. When pressed on the matter, she insisted that she had used the sunscreen and would turn brown in a couple of days.
I am content, however, to mostly keep covered up, ensuring I wear my holiday hat and only wear shorts once every two weeks, believing that keeping my legs milky white and lighter than the rest of my body somehow defeats global warming.
It is at times like these that we all wish we had air-conditioning in our houses like they do in warmer countries. Being British, and thereby the land of invention, we don’t let this stop us trying to remain cool; we buy mini hand-held fans and enjoy a gentle, if still warm, breeze upon our faces.
That is until the batteries run out, then they sit in the kitchen drawer and mock us every time we open it.
My wife and I try to remain cool by walking by the side of the canal. The only drawback to this is that I am a regular at getting bitten by all kinds of insects. I’m sure they think I am a walking barbecue.
A similar thing happened during our recent trip to Florida as we walked by a lake in a beautiful country park, and I swear I could hear the local mosquitoes saying, ‘Yippee! It’s English food’, as they took it in turns to feast on my blood.
So this summer I might not be getting a sun tan, but if I get bitten enough I will be full of blotches changing my milk-white complexion in to nice red hue.
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