On a knife edge (From Bradford Telegraph and Argus)

On a knife edge

10:48am Friday 13th June 2008

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Small talk can sometimes be a dangerous thing.
It can lead to all sorts of misunderstandings if mouth fails to engage brain before utterance… especially when you’re just about to go under the knife.
There I was, in my local clinic, about to have a small, harmless cyst removed.
The administration of the local anaesthetic was virtually pain-free, if slightly uncomfortable, and everything was going swimmingly… when I fell to musing out loud.
"Why on earth" I began to wonder, "would anyone want to undergo cosmetic surgery voluntarily?"
Sensing a momentary stillness over where the doctor and her nurse where choosing the appropriate scalpel, I figured I could have inferred something untoward about the clinical process so far.
"Not," I added hastily from my prone position on the surgery couch, "that there is anything remotely wrong with things here. Not at all. No, no, no."
(Maybe over-egging the back-pedalling a touch, I thought)
I seemed to have saved the (or more like my) day, though, as the procedure continued without a hitch… from my angle anyway.
In fact, it was almost enjoyable, in a strange kind of way.
Perhaps that cosmetic surgery does have its attractions….