WHEN was the last time you had a conversation about death?

It comes to us all, but it's not something we tend to talk about. Bringing it into the open is the focus of Dying Matters Week, running until Sunday, which has 'The Big Conversation' as its theme.

The aim of the awareness week is to promote open and honest discussion about death, dying and bereavement. It will be followed next week by a Death Cafe at Bradford's Marie Curie Hospice.

A Death Café is a place where people, often strangers, gather for group discussion about death. Some are held regularly, others are not so structured and take place occasionally.

Hosted by Marie Curie and the University of Bradford's Let's Talk Death group, the cafe takes place on Thursday, May 19, and is open to the public.

Laura Middleton-Green, Marie Curie Clinical Academic Research Fellow in End of Life Care, University of Bradford, said: “Death comes to us all, and is understandably something that many people fear to discuss. Talking about it does not make it any more likely to happen - but not talking about it can mean that people's wishes and preferences for the end of life are not known about by the people who are most important to them.

“There are limited public spaces in which discussion of death and dying is acceptable, and this often means that the first time people are encouraged to talk about such things is when they are facing their own death, or that of a loved one. This can make it a much more difficult conversation.

“We aim to encourage public conversations about death and dying and to create safe spaces in which discussion can take place.”

The concept of a Death Cafe is nothing new - they are held around the world, often taking place in cafes after hours. Rather than being a support group or counselling session, the ethos is on informal discussion, with no set agenda, held on a drop-in basis. Those attending can stay for as long as they like.

Elaine Hill, Hospice Manager at the Marie Curie Hospice, Bradford said the event - the first Death Cafe to be held in a hospice in England - would provide an opportunity for informal conversation.

"This event is being held in the hospice itself and is open to both patients, their families and members of the public, which we hope will offer lots of opportunities for discussion.” she said.

She added: "Death is often seen as a taboo subject, but it’s important to have open and honest discussions to make your wishes clear. Death Cafés are a concept which help encourage those conversations about dying and bereavement in a relaxed setting, helping to remind us that talking about dying won’t make it happen any sooner. We hope the café taking place at the hospice, as part of Dying Matters Week, will provide an open space in which people can share their thoughts and feelings on the subject.”

The Dying Matters Coalition was set up in 2009 by the National Council for Palliative Care (NCPC) to promote awareness of dying, death and bereavement.

Members are from NHS agencies, voluntary and independent health and care sectors, including hospices, care homes and charities, social care and housing sectors, faith organisations, schools and colleges, the legal profession and the funeral sector.

The Coalition’s aim is to help people talk more openly about dying, death and bereavement, and to make plans for the end of life, and to encourage society to accept death as the natural part of our life cycle.

A reluctance to face up to and discuss death and dying can have an impact on where people die, and whether or not it is how they wish,.

The Dying Matters Coalition encourages people to talk to family and friends about their wishes towards the end of their lives, including where they want to die and their funeral plans. Talking about dying makes it more likely that people, or their loved ones, will die as they wished which, says the Coalition, will make it easier for those left behind. Bereavement can be eased somewhat if the bereaved know their loved one has had a ‘good death’.

  • The Death Café is at Marie Curie Hospice, Maudsley Street, Bradford on Thursday, May 19 from 10am to 4pm. For more information email L.Middleton-Green@bradford.ac.uk.