FROM soppy adverts to explosive soap storylines, there's no escaping the idea that Christmas is a time for family get-togethers.

It's also a time when we're expected to reflect on Christmases past, and take comfort in our memories. But for people with dementia, Christmas can be a confusing, chaotic time - and it can be particularly stressful for their families.

Dementia alters people's perceptions, says Maizie Mears-Owen, Care UK's head of dementia services. The charity provides training for care teams, offering them new perspectives on how to help people with dementia enjoy a busy family Christmas.

"During their training sessions, our teams wear glasses that restrict their vision and have their hearing impaired while people ask them questions - this gives them an idea of how living with dementia affects people," says Maizie, who offers advice on how to make festivities dementia-friendly.

"Begin to prepare them in advance by talking about who will be there, and who those people are to them - niece, grandson, friend, for example. Photographs are very useful for this as it will help them to recognise faces," adds Maizie. "Photographs can also be useful because people with dementia may be living in a different decade. It is common for people to believe they are at a younger point in their lives. If this is the case, use older photos to explain who people are - and don't get upset if your relative gets names wrong.

"If your mother calls you 'mum', do not get embarrassed and don't correct her; she is just at the point in her mind where you are her mother's age, or she sees something in you that reminds her of her mum. Embrace it. Be 'Mum'. Help her with her food and with opening her presents - she will find it reassuring and calming. Contradicting her will make her feel agitated and confused."

While young children seem to take it in their stride, teenagers can find it upsetting. "Not being recognised or seeing out-of-character behaviour can sometimes be confusing, embarrassing and hurtful," adds Maizie, who suggests talking the issue over together as a family before Christmas. She also recommends Matthew Snyman's book The Dementia Diaries (available from Amazon), which follows four young people dealing with their grandparents' dementias

Christmas Eve is the time to start tapping into family traditions."If you prepare your vegetables on Christmas Eve night, encourage your loved one to take part," says Maizie. "They will feel useful and it can start conversations about Christmases past. Reminiscence is vital to increasing wellbeing. Get them talking about their childhood Christmases as well as yours.

"Dementia can take a toll on verbal communication skills. Music is a great way to connect with someone, as well as being fun. Even if they can't sing, they can enjoy tapping out a rhythm and joining in, so why not try a carol service or sing along with a CD?"

Christmas mornings can be frantic, especially if there are young children in the house, so Maizie advises on setting aside a quiet, comfortable place for a relative with dementia. "The hurly-burly of present opening, noisy toys and over-excited youngsters can prove too much for someone whose senses have changed," she explains. "To avoid confusion and anxiety, offer your relative a cup of tea away from the chaos and, if they want it, sit with them and chat."

The centrepiece of Christmas is the family lunch. Ann Saunders, a Care UK operational director, says: "Dementia can take away depth perception and narrow the field of vision, so keep things fairly clear. Hand out crackers when you are going to pull them, limit the crockery and cutlery on the table and use a tablecloth that contrasts with the plates.

"Try not crowding the plate," she adds. "Appetites are small and lots of food adds to confusion. Keep the meat in one section of the plate, the carbs in another and the vegetables separate.

"Taste buds age and older people often develop a sweet, sour or savoury tooth to compensate. Try adding lemon or lime for that extra zing, use plenty of fresh herbs and try adding a teaspoon of honey to the water you cook the carrots in."

Finally, just because someone is living with dementia doesn't mean they can't join in fun and indulgence with the rest of the family.

Maizie also advises that those with dementia should have the medication they need for the Christmas period, as well as key names and telephone numbers of their GP, consultant, or care home team to hand.

* Care UK runs care homes across the UK and delivers care to people in their own homes. For more information, visit careuk.com

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