THERE can be few things more heartbreaking for a grandparent than being denied contact with their grandchildren.

According to the Grandparents Association, up to one million children have no contact with their grandparents, often because of a family dispute. In desperation, many grandparents turn to family courts to gain access but this can be an expensive, distressing and complex process.

David Maud spent nearly four years in a civil law process trying to re-establish contact with his grandaughter. After taking redundancy in 2007, he helped with daily care for her for more than three years, from the age of ten months, while his eldest daughter, (the child's mother), was at work. But following a fall-out, he and his wife lost contact with their young grandaughter.

"I was a daily carer for her for three-and-a-half years. It was very distressing not to have any contact with her," said Mr Maud.

David and his wife applied for a court order, which took 22 months to be granted. Finally, after a long, emotionally draining round of court appearances, they were granted contact with their grandaughter and have restored a good relationship with their daughter.

Now David wants to help other grandparents deal with the legal process of fighting for access. After going through civil courts, and ending up representing himself, he trained to be a peer advocate, specialising in family issues, and is now offering an advocacy service for grandparents.

"Having been subjected to the civil law system for four years, I know the process," he says. "I became interested in how the court works; instead of just letting it wash over me I thought 'I might as well learn from this experience'.

"I went through the system at different levels, from disclosure and directional hearings to a contested contact hearing, and reached a point where I could represent myself. It's not like criminal law where deals are made - in civil law the outcome has to be 100per cent what is right for the child. If a judge is going to award contact with estranged grandparents, it has to be beneficial to the child."

David, 56, contacted the Grandparents Association, a charity supporting grandparents with various issues, and discovered a need to represent grandparents in court.

"I began to investigate and realised advocacy was the way to go," says David."Often grandparents have clear ideas about what to say in court, but when it comes to it they can't get their point across. Going to court is a daunting prospect - you're asking for what you want more than anything in the world, and you're up against your own relatives.

"A lot of grandparents feel hopeless when they lose contact, they think there's nothing they can do. I speak to people in emotional turmoil and make sense of their emotions. Court is the last option, but if it comes to it I can advise on the process."

He adds: "People tend to think blood's thicker than water, that when it comes to it they'll resolve family issues. But if you're constantly bombarding relatives with emotional requests, it can be counter-productive. A lot of my problems were of my own making."

Through coaching, David encourages a change in behaviour and tactics.

"While it's frustrating and upsetting, there's no point banging your head against the wall. Time is the essence - if your grandchildren don't see you from a young age they can quickly forget you," he says.

David deals with cases in a phone consultation followed by an assessment in person. Before a case goes to court, grandparents must attend an initial mediation assessment, with the other party. "That costs money - even if the other party don't turn up," says David. "It's another £200 for a court order. The court process can be very expensive, with solicitors' fees you're looking at potentially huge costs. I know people who have spent up to £25,000. People often have to look at using savings or selling their house.

"My court case lasted four years, and I paid for advocacy. My aim is to make it more accessible and affordable."

David hopes to link up with the Grandparents Association on developing an advocacy strand.

"I help people understand the process," he says. "If they reach a point where they can handle it themselves I say: 'Brilliant, job done'.

"The core principle of advocacy is empowerment, but people must realise they're not going to get back what they had before. They may only have contact once a week, or two or three weeks."

David believes judges are generally sympathetic to the idea that children benefit from being with their wider family. "They like grandparents to be involved," he says.

For more about advocacy contact David Maud on 07754 450912 or email david.maud@hotmail.co.uk

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