The support service doing a valuable job but needing help

About 18 months ago, Eccleshill Mechanics Institute – now Eccleshill Community Association – set up a project called Men@ EccyMeccy to offer support services for older men who had become a carer, lost a partner or were trying to cope with other problems on their own.

It was supported by nearly £57,000 Silver Dreams lottery funding. Now that money’s running out and the men on the scheme are contributing £3 a week each to keep it going until such time as more money is forthcoming.

Project worker Jonathan Thelwell said: “We’re looking for three years of funding from this April. That’s when National Lottery money to Eccleshill Community Association, our parent group, runs out.

“The money is needed for a project worker’s salary, the cost of hiring the room and transport costs to bring the men into the centre, outreach befriending initiatives and to take men out of their homes to the schemes we run.

“We have 55 men registered but on average 25 of them will come weekly into the centre on Stonehill Road. The average age is 65, the oldest is 94.

“They were referred to the project and have gone through a transition from being needy to helping other men as befrienders.

“In the last few months we have set up a steering group of eight of the men to extend what we do, which frees me up as the project worker to set up other schemes and see who else we can work with in Bradford and around the district.”

It may be objected that only men are served by this project. What about women?

“The nurses that I work with already have a list of help for elderly ladies, even if it’s bingo or local retirement groups. Older men won’t go because they don’t want to sit and talk. They want something very blokey, companionship. It is a men’s club in that respect,” Mr Thelwell added.

The project receives referrals from local GP practices and health and social care professionals who have identified men who are going through life-changing events such as bereavement, redundancy, retirement or becoming a carer for their partners, and are struggling to cope.

The Men’s Project run activities and support sessions in the community to equip men with the skills and confidence to better manage their own lives and cope with changed circumstances.

This has included cooking courses, using a washing machine, planning weekly shopping and meals. Men are also pointed towards other appropriate services such as benefits advice to help them build supportive networks.

“If necessary we provide transport to and from the group for men with limited mobility. We have also run trips and outings and these are discussed and planned by the men themselves,” Mr Thelwell said.

“We have a volunteering element to the project and as the men’s confidence returns they have taken up opportunities around befriending housebound older men, skill sharing through intergenerational activities, writing newsletters and maintaining the project ‘blog’, planning trips and events.

“They also take responsibility for the setting up and clearing away of resources for sessions. The men we have on the steering group have also taken on roles around planning, sharing ideas and co-ordinating activities.”

The project was set up after consultation with agencies such as Age UK, MIND, faith groups, the voluntary sector and health workers. They agreed the need was there for a men’s support group offering friendship and a bit of practical help.

If you’ve never had to work to a weekly budget, shop for yourself or cook a range of simple but wholesome meals, the reality can be depressing once the novelty has worn off.

Looking after yourself or, perhaps more to the point, caring for another can seem a daunting task, but people of an older generation are adaptable as the Men in Sheds scheme elsewhere in West Yorkshire, which entails sharing skills such as carpentry and helping younger people, has already shown.

Jonathan Thelwell can be reached at men@eccymeccy.org or by calling 07754064014.