West Yorkshire Police's contact centre is well worth a follow on Twitter, not least because they regularly tweet some of the daftest reasons people have called 999.

999 is, of course, only for use in emergencies. Police define an emergency as a situation where there is likely to be:

  • a danger to life
  • use, or immediate threat, of violence
  • serious injury to a person
  • and / or serious damage to property.

However, it would seem not everyone in the county agrees.

For starters, 999 is strictly for humans. Animals in peril need not apply.

The police don't want to help you escalate your passive-aggressive arguments.

And they're not a customer service helpline.

Breakdown services may seem like an emergency service, but they tend to have their own phone number.

Some calls are so bad they need illustrating.

While some require swift pun-ishment.

For non-emergency calls, there is a separate number... but what do you do if you've forgotten it?

That number, if you're wondering: 101.

Tom Donohoe head of the force's Communications Division, said: "These calls are so ridiculous it’s astonishing listening to them but they hide a serious truth."

"Each call often takes minutes to deal with as our Customer Contact Centre staff have to clarify the situation – it might not sound like much but if someone is trying to get through to report a genuine life or death emergency then a minute is a very long time to wait."

"I cannot stress enough that the 999 number is for emergencies only."