Calls my bluff

8:34am Monday 12th May 2008

The Scribbler stood for long moments observing the sign above the bar in the Boilermaker's Arms. "Can't make it to our pub quiz night?" he read aloud. "Then play by phone!"

Scribbler on the spot

8:36am Tuesday 6th May 2008

A rather uninspiring day all round, was The Scribbler's view of the local elections. Largely, of course, because he spent the time shuttling between the various election counts, trying to drum up something for a "sketch" type article while the rest of the reporters did the real work of noting who had won, who had lost and who had decided to stand for local government wearing a silly hat.

Birds of a feather

11:05am Monday 28th April 2008

So far: Erstwhile curmudgeonly columnist Hector Mildew is back on the scene, preparing to audition at The Boilermaker's Arms in the guise of Dirkus Thrust the Rock'n'Roll Roman. Will Wilf the Woolman be impressed enough to take on the superannuated singer as Saturday night's turn? Now read on There was a stunned silence in the tap room as Brenda and Glenda, the homely-looking twins recruited to be Dirkus's backing singers, closed the last song with a surprisingly well-synchronised "Sha-boom-boom wah-wah-wah-waaaah".

Hector rocks on

3:54pm Friday 18th April 2008

Previously: When a rock'n'roll act by the name of Dirkus Thrust, dressed like a Roman centurion, turned up to audition at the Boilermaker's Arms, The Scribbler thought there was something familiar about him. Now read on.

Pedal power and pints

4:33pm Friday 11th April 2008

"I wish you'd let me be at the front," protested The Scribbler as he and Thelma Gusset (pronounced "Gussay") dismounted from their newly-acquired tandem and prepared to chain it to the railings outside the Boilermaker's Arms.

Away we go...

3:59pm Friday 28th March 2008

"We need to get out more, Scribbler," declared Thelma Gusset (pronounced "Gussay") as the pair of them lay top-to-tail in the hammock in the broom cupboard he (and increasingly she) called home on the third floor of the T&A building in Hall Ings.

Fountain mania

12:21pm Monday 17th March 2008

"Who," The Scribbler wanted to know, "is this Chris that everyone's going mad for?" He felt it a fair question to ask, given that the entire newsroom was pasted with posters with encouraging shout lines such as "Go, Chris!" and even the Assistant Editor With Special Responsibility for Ensuring There Was Little Or No Frippery In the Office had even joined in the fun, sporting a T-shirt illustrated with the face of a beaming young blond chap.

Suits you, Thelma

8:30am Monday 10th March 2008

Previously: The Scribbler and Thelma Gusset (pronounced "Gussay") have been wondering what to do about Arnold the pigeon who, after being banished to Gateshead by Health & Safety regulations, has flown home. Now read on.

The bird has flown

10:15am Monday 3rd March 2008

Previously: The Scribbler has been told that Health & Safety rules will no longer allow him to share his broom-cupboard home with his pet pigeon, Arnold. The bird he had reared by hand had to be sent far, far away - to Gateshead. Now read on In the silence of the broom cupboard on the third floor of the T&A building in Hall Ings, The Scribbler and Thelma Gusset (pronounced "Gussay"), the object of his affections, lay folded in each other's arms in his hammock, which was swinging gently.

Getting the bird

7:42pm Friday 22nd February 2008

There's nothing else for it, Scribbler," declared the Assistant Editor With Special Responsibility for Monitoring Building Hygiene. "That bird has to go."

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