Why I think it’s ‘naughty’ to swear!

8:22am Friday 18th April 2008

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I'm pretty indifferent to the Queen. If I saw her in Morrisons, I'd probably stop and have a chat, ask her how the kids are, nosey in her basket to see what she's getting, but I wouldn't invite her around for tea, and I find it incredibly sinister to swear an allegiance to her, let alone citizenship ceremonies.' There's something unsettling about it isn't there? Like they know something I don't and that agreeing to swear an oath would somehow come back to haunt me in the future.

I swore an oath to the Queen and therefore it's my duty to put my bins out on the right day and not bang on the wall when the neighbours make a racket (they don't, by the way). It's just something that's likely to be taken for granted, and become meaningless which then gives leverage I'm not sure I want people to have.

America make their children swear allegiances every morning. I'm not entirely sure what these allegiances are to but I'm presuming it's to the president and the country and there must be talk of the national flag in there somewhere. Yet it works. Americans are always proud of their great nation', to the extent that that's pretty unsettling too, possibly borderline propaganda.

At least Americans are proud. I think Britain looks back on the days when being British meant more than a two-week boozy holiday in Costa Spain and receiving ASBOs from your neighbours. It used to mean something.

I agree that people should be taught about citizenship and that we need to feel like we belong to something, but I have doubts as to whether allegiance to the Queen is the way about it, or that allegiance to the country is any better - although I'm sure republicans would disagree.

Why swear allegiance to anything? We are no longer in medieval Britain and, to be honest, I'm so fickle anyway that I'd swear all I wanted, but by the end of the week I'd be refusing to do it. The chances are it would soon become some meaningless task that one indulges in on a morning.

It would become part of the routine, like making breakfast or doing your face on the bus. I doubt teens would listen to what they're saying or even say it correctly. In a week there'd be a posting on YouTube with alternative lyrics to the allegiance with the Sex Pistols version of God Save The Queen in the background.

However, I do agree with other aspects of the citizenship proposal. For example, young people who volunteer could receive a reduction in tuition fees, and people who work in the community could be given a small council tax rebate.

Although this is all well and good, though, it still does not address the issue that being British no longer means anything, and swearing allegiance won't help this.